Deconstructing Church Pt 11 What to Expect When You Leave “the church”

What to Expect When You Leave “the church”.

Psalm 62:5

My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.

Let’s make a distinction regarding those that moved away, and those that walked away.
You left behind the church, whether it was a traditional denomination or the local independent one on the corner of your city. You/ we were part of a Christian fellowship or group. And one day you decided not to go back.

First let me address those that left in anger, offence, or conflict with either the clergy or others there.
The offence and grudges must be dealt with and 100% forgiveness given. We are to love even if we leave, and even if people say hurtful things.
Jesus said to forgive or we are not forgiven, period. Even the perpetrators of  “church abuse” and that is very common.

Having that reminder, now let’s give both experience and wisdom to those the Lord has called out and/or forced out by using other people and circumstances. There are things we know from our own 24 years as  church loyalists.

-We know what we said and labeled those that left for various reasons and we know what the pastors and leaders said privately.
The labels included “Lone Ranger Christians”, “troubled”, “discord-sowers”, “trouble makers”, not “loyal”, even “traitors”.
Usually those labels were tossed about without care or knowledge why The Leavers left. 

-And once labeled, do not expect a show of care or concern in the form of calls or visits to find out why you left. It is part of the journey.

 At that point, sadly, many quit God altogether. I write this in hope to rekindle your faith in the Lord and His love for you. Jesus suffered the same, in fact, his own hometown church tried to kill him early in his ministry! –Luke 4:16-29 Please read. Serious stuff.

Expect a feeling of withdrawal from friends you hoped you would keep and cared about. You may find you were not as cared about as you thought you were.

Expect the minister(s) to go silent and cold, no matter your level of involvement, what your record of giving was, or the countless hours you gave to the fellowship.

Expect confusion as you desire fellowship, corporate worship and prayer, but your own efforts to re-locate them end in frustration.

Expect your faith in a Church, faith in men, and faith in an institution to be broken, -really broken.

Expect your faith in the physical things of Christianity to be sifted.

Hebrews 13:13 Therefore let us go forth to him outside the camp, bearing his reproach.

Expect the Lord to begin speaking to you as the voices of religious people and tradition is quieted. He will speak to you in a still small voice heard in your mind and He may speak to you through dreams.

Expect Him to confirm the reality of why you left and His unique calling to you to come out from them.

Expect to realize you carry a ton of church baggage and error that is going to take the Lord time to cleanse from your spirit and mind. Jesus called it “leaven”.

Expect the Lord to love you and reveal more of Himself to you, be willing to repent of that which he shows you about both the church and yourself.  

Expect to have many new questions about EVERYTHING.

Expect to learn about patience from Him. He is not on your time schedule.

Expect to enjoy a new found joy in being set free from the bondages that religious Christianity have imposed upon the gospel of grace.

Expect to be thankful to be free of church politics, church expectations and conformity, position-seeking, attention seeking, and mans approval as you learn to seek God’s approval and knowing Jesus better as you learn the former religious habits were only a false substitute for Christ.

Psalm 62:5 My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.

Paul wrote from a place of isolation, cut off from his countrymen, cut off from the countless people he had ministered to, cut off from the fellowship of friends and even family.. yet he had done the Will of God.

Philippians 1:20

according to my earnest expectation and my hope, that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but that with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ shall be magnified in my body, whether it be by life, or by death.

Finally, know  that God told me to write this and He is the inspiration for all I have written here.