My Walk Through The Valley Of The Shadow Of Death

 

Trials

In a period of brokeness, I went through a personal devastation and God in my humbling, showed me things in my heart I needed to work out with Him..

We easily forget He is the owner of all, but by faith, we confess with thanksgiving and make confession to Him, whether we feel it or not.

HE wants from the confession of our mouth the faith we that we preach.

11 years ago I experienced another time of testing after a wreck and serious injury, no medical insurance, a helicopter ride and 9 days in Stanford Hospital (the best hospital in the Bay Are they say).

While laying in the bed with a shattered hip, broken ribs, broken arm, internal injury, stitches in my face, plenty of pain, and not doing well at all, on the hospital bed I confessed:

"I TRUST YOU" to the Lord..

... and ya know, He did come through for me, I was healed. -even my huge bill was paid for me.. miracles are still from Him.

Written Wednesday, 23 July 2008

Through The Valley of the Shadow of Death

No one enjoys physical suffering whether it be a small cut or serious injury.

But as children of The King, afflictions, chastisements, and pain may happen. Of Jesus Himself it is written in Hebrews 5:8 Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered;

and of us in 2 Corinthians 1:7 ... that as ye are partakers of the sufferings, so shall ye be also of the consolation

In early June, the Lord spoke the same verse to me several times: "And Satan answered YHWH, and said, Skin for skin, yea, all that a man has will he give for his life.

5 But put forth thy hand now, and touch his bone and his flesh, and he will renounce thee to thy face.

6 And YHWH said unto Satan, Behold, he is in thy hand;

=>> only spare his life."

In all my life, I had never been even once hospitalized or had a broken bone. When I heard those words in my mind, immediately my response was "NO", I don't want anything to do with that kind of trial!"

My mind was made up on that point, and after a few times of hearing that verse, the reminders ceased and life went on.

Then came Father's Day 2008, and the fateful weekend.

On Father's Day, June 15th we had had a pleasant family gathering and late in the afternoon I decided to go do some work on a house we were trying to sell that needed repairs.

I thought that if I could just get a couple of small things done it would make the week easier as far as my workload was concerned. Up on the roof I did some minor repairs, it was about 5:30pm.

While attempting to climb down from the roof, the "A" frame ladder I was using shot out from under me and I fell 7' landing on my side parallel to the ground, breaking both bones in my left wrist and breaking some ribs.

I painfully got up and realizing I was hurt (I did not know yet how bad) got in the truck to drive the 5 minute trip home.

But as I drove home, I came to a traffic light stop, waiting, it turned green and I accelerated through. But then I went into shock and suddenly passed out at the wheel. I came to consciousness in a bad wreck, the truck was on its' side and I was injured a second time, this time to my right leg, dislocating it, breaking the top of it and breaking the pelvis, and in great pain.

The emergency people and ambulance extracted me from the wreck (I had hit and broken off a telephone pole, a tree, and some other things.

Thank God I did not hit a child or another person!) In our small town at the hospital Emergency Room they x-rayed and scanned the injuries, and a special lady, Dr. Martin, was able to reset my dislocated right leg by laying me out on the floor. Although the leg socket was shattered and they realized it would not hold my leg in place, so they taped my leg to the gurney with package wrapping tape!

Phone calls were made to neighboring hospitals for emergency surgery but all were unavailable.

Dr. Martin had determined emergency orthopedic surgery was needed and the only hospital that could work on me was in Palo Alto, a 100 miles away. Later that night-early morning, I was Medi-vac 'ed by helicopter at 4:30am to Stanford Hospital in Palo Alto. The top medical facility in Northern California.

Standing at the back of the hospital near the helipad, My wife and daughter who had been with me at the hospital, stood watching in shock and tears as they the copter left the pad and flew us off into the pre-dawn sky.

Early Monday morning, at Stanford Hospital, in a semi-conscious state and in a lot of pain, I was taken into an operating room.

But before I got into the op room, a couple of the attendants moved me from gurney to gurney and once again dislocated my leg again. More pain.

Next after signing some paper, in a fog of mental confusion, I remember going into a cold operating room and being put under. During a long operation, my broken left arm was put in a cast, 5 stitches each above my eye and more above my mouth where my teeth nearly broke through the upper area above the lip. A plate and pins were installed into the broken parts of the leg and pelvis during a 4-5 hour operation. Later when I awoke, I looked into the loving faces of my wife, daughter, two sons. and tears came to my eyes. I was also extremely thirsty not having any fluids for nearly as full day.

For the next 9 days I was in the hands of the folks at Stanford. On day 5, they wanted to release me but a new problem had manifested itself, -I would get very faint just trying to sit on the edge of the bed and when I tried to stand, as a physical therapist attempted to get me to use a special walker, I passed out stone cold again.

When I came to, there was a room full of nurses, yelling, and hands lifting me up and back on the bed. My blood pressure kept falling very low.

This was repeated the following day (Sat), and now, in addition to broken bones and pain, I was blacking out and no one knew why. Off to the cardiac ward I went..

At this point, they could not release me because of danger of me suddenly passing out and compounding my injuries. This brought me to the attention of another round of physicians and a cardiac specialist. More tests, scans, heart sonogram, and a lot of blood tests to me, a man who absolutely detests needles!

Dr. Hsia at one point was thinking a pacemaker, which I would have refused, as my heart is just fine.

Soon I realized they were playing a guessing game as they could not figure out the cause of me blacking out, and I had become a personal challenge to a number of physicians.

I really wanted to go home and been praying, my faith was weakened by the pain. I wanted to believe the words of scripture.

The injuries were bad enough but now there was this black-out obstacle, and I was calling on the Lord and confessing His promises over my body, as it says "fight the good fight of faith". -and I was fighting as lay there in the hospital bed.

In addition to that, we do not have medical insurance and we live by faith for God to supply, and this too was cause for prayer.

Sunday: Into the Valley of the Shadow of Death

On Sunday morning, Day 7 at Stanford, a Heart Specialist MD came to see me and he was determined to solve the fainting spell mystery. His approach began with heart and blood pressure tests while lying down, sitting up, then standing.

While lying down it was 135/72, then sitting up it dropped a bit to 126/68. So far, so good, although I felt lightheaded while sitting. I knew something was not right.

He had also hooked me up to a gaggle of electrode things on my chest and there were a couple of monitors for the heart, vital signs, and what ever else they had .

As I tried to stand, the light headedness gave way to dizziness and a cold sweat, I began to sway, and just as I passed out, the doc sat me down on the edge of the bed.

The fainting quickly passed and the next thing I saw was a couple of more doctors come into my room. We all discussed what I was feeling and they noted the various monitors.

After a few more minutes they got me to my feet again and in a minute or so of standing with the aid of a walker, WHAM! -I went out cold.

But this time was completely different.

When I blacked out, I left my body. It was actually a pleasant sensation as I left behind all physical senses, discomfort, and pain as I found myself in another dimension.

There was no sense of fear as I observed a sort of foggy looking place with numerous pulsating lights way off in the distance, and I heard voices speaking, although I saw no one.

The lights I saw seemed to be spirits and the voices may have come from them but I am not sure.

As I tried to hear the words from the voices, two lights appeared near to me, and suddenly, clearly, I heard these words:

"PATIENCE, UNDERSTANDING" .

Then suddenly I was back in my body and heard serious-toned voices speaking.

People were tensely speaking and I felt myself being put back on the bed, possibly someone pressing my chest, and I was soaked with sweat.

Later, after things calmed down, the doc said my blood pressure dropped “to 86/67 and here is where you heart stopped”.

It was stunning to hear that. I then knew it was exactly when my heart had stopped, it was the moment I left my physical body.

After stabilizing, even with the low blood pressure (which stayed that way all day), I was left alone except for the nurses and all the stuff hooked up to me.

I thought about my own mortality and the stopping of my heart, dark thoughts began to flood my mind: "What will Linda and the kids without me?"

The possibility my heart could stop again anytime, and those blackouts!"

I was not ready for leaving them.

It was deeply crushing, depressing, and my emotions were surfacing as I wept over my situation there in in the hospital bed.

Later that afternoon a friend from Pennsylvania called, and prayed for me rebuking the cause and symptoms of the blackouts.

I thanked him with agreement but was sure he could sense my spirits were low. I felt physically weak and still wondered if and how I would make it.

About 4 pm I began to pray and parts of the 23rd Psalm came to mind:

1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside still waters.

3 He restores my soul: He guides me in the paths of righteousness for his name`s sake.

4 Yes, if I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You art with me; Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.

I began to confess verse 4 out loud to the Lord, and prayed for some kind of help, "God, can you send me a messenger?".

A Messenger Arrives

About 6pm a Food Attendant came into my room.

She looked at me with kind of a strange look as she prepped the food I was not interested in.

Then she asked me "Do I know you, have we met somewhere?, you look so familiar". (I looked like a mess!, arm in cast, face stitches, pale, in pain..)

I noticed she was wearing a small gold cross, but that may or not mean much these days.

She told me "you look so familiar" but we found nothing common and our paths had not crossed before. I live in Los Banos 105 miles away.

She said she lived in San Jose, and worked at Stanford only on the weekend, part time, yet in this large medical facility with multiple floors and wings, she was there in my room in my dark hour.

I read her name tag, it said "Evangeline".

Evangeline asked me how I was doing, and I responded "not too well". She asked "How's that?"

I told her I was struggling with my faith. I went on to say God gave His Word in 1Peter 2:24 that "by His stripes we were healed, and in Mark 11:

23 Verily I say to you, Whosoever shall say to this mountain, Be thou taken up and cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that what he says comes to pass; he shall have it.

24 Therefore I say to you, All things whatsoever you pray and ask for, believe that you receive them, and you shall have them.

And Hebrews 11:1 where it says "Now FAITH is the ASSURANCE of things HOPED FOR, the EVIDENCE of things not seen."

Although I was struggling to "hold fast the confession of your faith that it waver not", because of what had happened to me that morning, the pain of my injuries, and the low blood pressure, my faith in God's Word for myself was being severely tested.

However Evangeline spoke very comforting words to me and assured me of God's care, saying "you are going to be fine God will take care of you". She repeated those words several times before she left and continued her rounds.

After Evangeline left the room, as I pondered these things, I noticed it was the time of our online Bible Study. I found out they were also praying for me at that same hour while Evangeline was with me.

Then the Lord began to speak to me. He told me He had sent her, that He had made me appear as someone she knew in order for her to take the time needed for me to confess to her my struggle and the scriptures above.

The Lord told me she was a vessel who would receive the testimony of The Word (the scriptures written above) that The Lord wanted me to confess with my mouth, according to Romans 10:9

That if you shall confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and shall believe in your heart that God has raised him from the dead, you shall be saved. (the word saved also means healed.)

To my surprise, later Evangeline returned and I told her what God had spoken to me about her. She was amazed and she said how she had prayed while on the way to work asking the Lord to use her to be a blessing to someone. Yet we were both so astonished at the reality of God's hand directing multiple circumstances.

That evening I sensed the change within my body. The weakness, faintness, fragileness was gone. Isn't it interesting that from that night forward not once have I blacked out or fainted? praise be to God! (even to 15 years later).

Two days later, June 24th, I went home and healing was evident with each passing day. 3 weeks from the time of the wreck, my faith had strengthened and I removed the arm cast. That became another trial because the arm hurt and I was tempted to call the doctor. But by God's grace, I held fast to my trust in Him and the pain left after 5 days, the arm has been fine ever since.

5 weeks later I was walking (with a limp), unassisted. God is my Healer and our Provider. It was so wonderful to be home and I have a new perspective and fresh compassion for people who have been injured and suffering.

I also have a new found respect and admiration for those kind nurses and staff who attend their patients.

So many of them showed real care and concern as they served in their job, I say this about both hospitals who treated my injuries and even the very professional flight crew on the helicopter.

For my family, especially my wife and daughter, we thank everyone who prays for us and ministered to us as we go through tribulations. The calls and prayers received while in Stanford made a difference in encouraging and comforting us, thank you again.

"Make me to hear joy and gladness, That the bones which you have broken may rejoice Hide thy face from my sins, And blot out all mine iniquities."

Pic:

After shearing off a power pole, then hitting a small tree, the truck ended up on the passengers side and with great difficulty, the EMP personnel extracted me thru the back window. I remembered seeing the face of one of them looking in through the rear window. Years later I met him by chance doing some work at a rental house and as we chatted, I asked him where he worked. Short story is he was still an EMP and he was the man I had seen who rescued me out of the wrecked truck.

-My face had hit the windshield and the steering wheel (10 stitches). My right leg was broken at the top and the pelvis socket shattered into 5 parts. And the broken wrist (Colles fracture/ both bones) and several broken ribs.

I never went back for follow up and not returned to the doctor since leaving Stanford 6-24-08, thank God for His healing promises.

Soon after, I returned to work that September, even climbing a ladder again, about 3 months later.

Today I have no limp, but there is a 20” scar on my thigh and hip where they operated.

Did I mention that messenger, Evangeline? While in Stanford I had prayed for a messenger.

A few months later after I felt so much better, I thought of her and looked up her name.

It means "Messenger of good news". http://www.babynames.com/name/EVANGELINE

I contacted the hospital to find out when she worked so I could speak to her and tell her the good news of my healing.

Calling Stanford, the connected me to he Food Service Kitchen and I got the manager.

I asked when Evangeline was working again so I could thank her. The Manager said "I have been here 6 years and there is nobody named "Evangeline" working here.

But I argued, "YES there is, she attended me 4 months ago".

The manager said "I am sorry sir, we have no one by that name working here, not now and not prior."

I wanted to argue but realized it was pointless.

God had sent me a messenger.

39Kimberly Hervé, Mark Angelo Williams and 37 others

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