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Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Men, Marriage, Spirituality

Men, Marriage, Spirituality
Hey GUYS... -this Blog's for you (us)f.. 

Since you are the head of the family, problems in the family will always point back to the man,  and that is where correction and humbling must begin.

Us men are the "gate-keepers".
We can let in all kinds of good and all kinds of evil.  Do you want to know why some of us husbands, fathers, and guys have some or a lot of the problems we do or did?
-and I speak as one that learned some things the hard way.

Let's begin with a question, WHO is your spiritual head?

Sure, you think it is Jesus Christ, at least we thought He was.
So let's look at a few common idols of us men.  

1. A pastor.
    is NOT your "spiritual covering" or "spiritual head".  The pastor does not take God's
    place when you have a problem, need comfort, counsel, or advice. He cannot fix the problem
     with your kids, marriage, or  YOU.  He may help or advise, 
 But I would have you know,
     that the head of every man is Christ" -
1Corinthians 11:3

That one verse in 1Corinthians 11:3 is a game-changer fellas. 
When you really get the revelation of that one verse, it can change your view of yourself as you relate to your wife, daughter, and family.
The order must change if Christ is not your "head", then something else is..
And that "something" else becomes the head of you and your family and your family will be a reflection of your head.

2.  Next idol:   The almighty dollar, job, money, and finances.
     Before you deny putting this idol ahead of the Lord, what was your priority this morning?
     Was it getting to work or having some devotional time with the Lord?
     Did you pray and read His Word?
     Does God mostly fit in on on the weekend?
Not putting God FIRST?  As in "no other gods before Me"?  Where do we put God in the first hour of our day?

Most men carry a burden to provide for family or our self and we easily justify the pursuit of our work-life and the pursuit of material desires.

How does this idol take form in our life?
We borrow, finance, and charge to get what we cannot afford. -contrary to the scriptures that taught us to "owe no man".
This idol changes the order of our life and time management, God could not be first in that because His Word did not seem to apply to our excuses to have more as we justified our pursuits and pleasures through unscriptural debt.
We become "servant to the lender" and are not free to serve God because we "owe".

3. ME?   
An Idol called SELF

HE is the man in the mirror.
He wants HIS WAY, he lusts for respect, pleasure, pride, admirationand power.
He puts responsibility and decision-making on her then gets mad when anything fizzles.
He will blame her for his trouble,
HE will make excuses for himself,
HE will justify his sin and point out others faults.
He can make "her" his mommy so HE can be lazy and passive.
He will chase sports and movies, lust and greed, and then HE gets angry......
He can even wimp out and make a wife do what he should be doing. 
HE may even use the scripture as a club to beat her into submission as HE demands his way......  (the term "righteous anger" is not in the Bible)

Anger is very, very destructive and there is no excuse for us giving into it as God will never hold unrepented anger guiltless.
It is our responsibility to those we hurt and wounded with anger and repent to them.....
Rooting out anger is a must, and deliverance may be necessary. 

The WORD speaks authoritatively to HUSBANDS:

Christ will not honor your prayers when you have not honored your wife.
In our face, guys:  1Peter 3:7 YOU husbands,
in like manner, dwell with your wives according to knowledge, giving honor unto the
woman, as unto the weaker vessel, as being also joint-heirs of the grace of life;
to the end that your prayers be not hindered.
He instructs us to GIVE   (you know guys, as in not to withhold from her --->
---> "HONOR":     value, that is, by analogy esteem  (i.e. especially of the highest degree),
                          or the dignity itself:  honour, precious, price, some.
---> that your prayers be not Hindered:    to frustrate: - cut down (off, out), hew down, hinder.

God would do this to your prayers?
Perhaps this is why some men do not get answers.  
And this: 
Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
What is "bitter"?

 to produce a bitter taste in the stomach,  to embitter. exasperate, render angry, indignant
 to be embittered, irritated to visit with bitterness, to grieve (deal bitterly with)

and Eph. 5:25 Husbands,
love  ("agape":  i.e. sacrificial, in laying down your Christ did)
your wives, even  as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it (Christ got up off the Lazy-Boy and served, gave up his time, desires, sports, computer, and order to give of Himself, which is what men do not usually do by nature)

28 Even so ought husbands also to love their own wives as their own bodies. 
   ----->  He that loveth his own wife loveth himself
(here is where rejection, self-hatred and unforgiveness interfere with loving her.
Here is where you find out why you are unable to give what every woman desires in her man.
Love is KIND, love is not selfish, love is patient, love gives of itself to meet the needs of another)

30   because we are members of his body.
       (so is she, as your sister in Christ, and how will God reward us for verbally assaulting her,
       "lording" ourselves over her, or in some cases making her the head of the family?)
33   Nevertheless do ye also severally love each one his own wife even as himself;
        and let the wife see that she fear
(i.e. respect) her husband. 
Let's not major on demanding respect until after we are living and fulfilling what is written for husbands. Your wife will gladly "fear", i.e. respect you, for loving and giving of yourself )

If a man is disobedient in these, his prayer is "hindered", i.e., cut off, an it is evident many marriages are under a curse because the man is out of God's order in His relationship to God, and in his ministry to his wife and family.

the context is in regard to a man and his ministry, but men, please note:

1Tim. 3:4 one that rules well his own house, 
       having his children in subjection with all gravity;
  but if a man knows  not 
(i.e. to understand, perceives, see)
(in what manner)  to rule his own house
       how shall he 
take care of the church of God?

"Take care of"    is one Greek Word: "Epimeleomai"  (Strong's #1959).
"Epimeleomai"  was used only three times in all the New testament.
Once in 1Timothy, and twice in Luke 10, by Jesus how He meant "take care of " to be applied.

Please consider Luke 10: 34
    and came to him and bandaged up his wounds, pouring oil and wine on them;
    and he put him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn and took care of him.
    35)  "On the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper and
 'Take care of him; and whatever more you spend,
              when I return I will repay you

These may answer the question as to why there are not more men raised up as ministers to God's people. Their home life and marriage, hinder their relationship to God.
And the way they "take care of"  their own bride will keep the man from being entrusted with taking care of God's lambs according to the verse in 1Timothy.

Do we "take care of"  our wife the way the good Samaritan did with a wounded fellow sojourner? Or do we ignore their wounds and hurts as we pursue our agenda and schedule?
What kind of "take care of" do we practice at home, then among others?

"Take care of" the wounded man was to comfort,  heal, to give caring attention, to gently restore.    

There are some amazing things in the Old Testament law, and they still apply when we transgress our New Testament Covenant. 
Some are found in Deuteronomy 28, which is heavily directed toward the men.

They include our children being given over to strangers (vs. 32 and 41),
a wife leaving for another man and rejecting her own children ( vs. 30),
in addition to various other ills.

Think of children going into gangs, "lifestyles", or taken captive by culture.
Think of a wife that leaves her own dear children to be with another man.
You have the God-given desire to work and provide, yet there is no blessing.. Why?
Even the curse of unemployment will be broken when your prayers are not hindered by bitterness, criticalness, and fault-finding. He puts chastisings on men through our  finances!
 (He is trying to get our attention, remember?)

God is chastising and judging men for anger, for judging others by criticizing and condemning,  for holding grudges, and not "taking care" like Jesus told us,  -instead of blessing them as He desires to do.

It is clear, if only part of the curse operates in our life, our family will suffer with us.. 

"Take care" gentlemen.  


  1. This is the best teaching on the husbands roll in the home and what happens when they are not obedient to the Father that I have ever read or heard. I greatly saddens me that men are so distracted from the Lord and their families. I pray the Father would awaken them and they would realize it and repent before it is too late. Love in Christ